A full time Umma

I had once read a forwarded message where a son pays his father a sum to buy an hour from his busy working schedule. It was touching. But never did I think that my life would one day become so busy that I would have to steal out time for my beloved son.

They say money doesn’t buy happiness - but money does lessen helplessness! If I had a choice I would never want to be a working mother. A full time mother is what Allaah made my heart to be. But He didn’t synchronise my life with my heart. I love to earn my own money so that I never have to fail financially to provide for basic necessities of my son. Alhamdulillaah, I have solely spent everything on his health and education. But, this money costs. It costs me time that I would rather spend playing with my son, to watch him (more) carefully grow..

People think that working from home is like eating a cake. I prefer to work from home so that I do not miss staying with my son. To be there for him when he needs me. To not make him feel that he is being raised by a busy working mother. At the same time, I wish I could live with my son, not just stay with him. Be there for him to watch his funtime even when he doesn’t need me. To raise him as a full time mother - like how I was raised :( 

I strive to be a good mother. In fact, I have even reduced the time I used to put in Ibadah to make-up for my sons’s togetherness. I still feel I need to give him more of it. He jokingly says, “You are my Umma. So don’t worry and do your work. You are my Ummi when I cry. At other times you are not my mother, you are my parent. And so you are my Umma”

Dear life, you are difficult to understand!